Tag Archives: aunts

Merry christmas mother fu-

Merry Christmas guys! Did you really think I’d neglect you on this joyful occasion? What kind of horrid bitch would I be to deny you of my vaguely tipsy ramblings?

I stress vaguely tipsy. I’ve only had two ciders and some baileys. And that was over the course of four hours, so there.

I would hardly call that recreational drinking.

This year, christmas didn’t feel like christmas until the actual day had come. I guess every other year up until now there’s been the end of school to signify the start of the festivities. But not this year. But all the same, I had a lovely time. My family came to my parents place and we had fun.

My mum forced me out of bed at 9am. It was painful. Once upon a time, I would have been bounding around the house at 3am trying to convince the household to get up and join in. Now, it’s a struggle to be conscious before noon, let alone dressed and helping mum cook lunch. My relative apathy towards such things as Christmas is a bad habit I picked up during my horrible angsty teens. Maybe part of growing up needs to be knowing when it’s okay to feel childish and excited, and granting yourself permission to cut loose instead of trying to seem cool.

My seven year old cousin proved himself to be a real creep in the making. I sense a slight freudian slip going on, but all the same he did back off a little after we had words about whether or not it was appropriate to be glueing stickers to the front of my shirt, where much of the boob area can be located.

Moving on.

Presents wise, I got lots of stuff for uni. But the real meaning of christmas isn’t the presents. It’s how much food and drink you stuff down and how many naps you take.

At the moment my heavy meals to nap ratio is sitting at 3:2.

As tradition demands, around ten o’clock we got the guitars out and played a bit of music, very successfully freaking out the teenage sons of a friend of my parents who were in town for christmas and aren’t used to spontaneous family sing-a-longs.

I weighed myself in the morning and again before bed, and over the course of one day, I’ve managed to gain two whole kilos through simple laziness and foodly indulgence. I call that a success.

I played two games of monopoly and was thoughroughly thrashed.

In non christmassy updates, two out of three friends are still not speaking to me, and the third had no choice (we were invited to the same xmas party two days ago), but it was awkward as hell. I have reached the point where I don’t really care. It’s just not worth stressing about.

There are only 36 days to go until freedom.

Merry Christmas all!

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