You know, this is quite out of character, because I am well in the mood to write a very crabby blog update.
But I’m not going to, because I have something else on my mind.
And that something else is this.
Getting older totally rocks.
I kind of sucked at being a kid. Actually, that’s not true. I was very good at being a kid in the traditional sense. I loved mucking about and attempting to invent weird and wonderful things. I loved hanging out with my friends and doing puddle slides when it rained. I loved riding my bike and going to the park, making mud pies and building pillow forts, I loved watching cartoons and drawing endless pictures. Above all else, I loved playing imaginary games, transforming into whatever characters I liked and having these stories come to life with my friends.
And I was like this all the way up until I was twelve. But around about the ten year old mark, everyone else started changing. Suddenly, no one wanted to play anymore. Everyone got so serious all of a sudden, and when in year 6 I was told that it wasn’t cool to pretend we were witches and run around the playground, it was a pretty depressing moment.
In a flash, all the best things in my tiny little world were squashed.
Then I became a teenager, and that was awful. High school was an anxiety riddled identity crisis of the worst sort. I lived up to every possible awkward uncool teenage cliché.
But it ended, as it has to do. High school finished, I turned eighteen, and all of a sudden
Things felt right at last.
Even though I’m desperate to leave my town and leave my jobs and start living the next phase of my life, finally being a grown up is the best thing thats ever happened to me.
it’s incredibly freeing. The feeling of being in control and making my own choices, of being independent and working towards goals that can actually happen.
I know this sounds stupid but let me say it anyway: I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life to feel this way and suddenly it’s here.
I love being a grown up. I love having responsibilities and being able to make decisions. I love looking after myself and making wild plans that I can actually do, without having to ask permission.
I spent such a long time looking forward to the future, and now that it’s finally here, it feels incredible.
I’m not scared of getting old. That’s easy to say at nineteen while I’m still very much a young human, but I feel like as I get older and learn more and become much more me, life just keeps getting better.
AND ONE MORE THINGS:
Question: should I quit one of my jobs?
I’ve talked before about the job that I hate. Well, i’m thinking about quitting.
Reasons to quit are: I hate the customers, it’s boring, it’s a half hour drive away from my house so i can’t really work at short notice and that annoys them, working my other job means I can’t work at short notice and that annoys them, it’s very stressful trying to juggle two jobs and get the timing right, I’m having to spend about 16% of my pay check on petrol money and parking money anyway while I can walk to my other job, I always promised myself that I wouldn’t waste time on things I’m not passionate about and I hate this job.
Reasons NOT to quit: with this job and my other together, I’m earning a fair chunk of money each week which is great for the university fund, with this job and my other combined I’m getting at least five days of work per week, which would be cut back to about two or three if I quit, now I’ve been taught how to do everything I’d feel kind of bad about quitting, I’ve only worked there for a month and a half and would feel a bit bad about quitting, I reckon I could get a good reference from this place which would look awesome on my resume but only if I stick it out a bit longer, I like the people who work there, I’d feel really awkward ever going there to shop ever again, which is a little inconvenient.
SO WHAT DO I DO? Give them my two weeks notice or stick it out for another two and a half months?