The thing that happened:
There is a guy at my work who is quite nice, who is somewhat attractive, who I like as a human being. We have worked together three times, he friended me on Facebook on Tuesday night, and approximately two hours after my accepting of his friend invitation sent me the following message:
Hi! r u seeing anyone? 🙂
My reaction was as follows.
Oh no, he’s one of those people who doesn’t spell words.
Or use capitals.
Hang on, what?
Because I can assure you right now, nothing like this has ever happened to me before.
So I was a bit weirded out. Not because he isn’t an entirely likeable person and not because of his unwitting butchering of the english language, but because of the fact that this is literally the first exchange of words that has occurred outside of work.
And let’s face it, it’s a bit blunt.
Hey! I’m all for bluntness, so my reply was as follows:
Hello. Wow, that was very to the point! But no. And yourself?
This was two days ago, and those two days have been a long awkward stretch of silence.
Why I am annoyed.
Why hasn’t he replied to me!?
There are three reasons why I am irritated by this.
Number one, he started the conversation, ergo facto he has a responsibility to continue it.
Number two, far from being a close ended question, this is one that deserves an explanation. Why exactly are you enquiring to my relationship status? Is it simple curiosity, some weird kind of concern for my wellbeing or are you interested?
And number three, I asked you a question bro! I turned it back on you! I played my reverse card! That was an opening, an invitation to fulfil both of the above points and you have so far disregarded it!
So two days of nothing? I’m kind of frustrated.
And in addition, the other reason I’m irritated, both by the question, and the silence, is that I have to work with this guy.
We work together.
I mean for fucks sake! Way to make shit get weird.
I’ve been thinking about it (obviously), and here is my list of possible reasons for asking the question, and then dead silence.
Number one: the most mortifying on both sides and also the most likely (because this has happened to me before!):
The message was meant for someone else.
Like I said, this has happened before. I once got sent a lovely message from someone I know, and after thanking them and five minutes passing, was informed that they hadn’t actually meant to send it to me.
Yikes. That was awkward.
That would be the most horrible, and also the most likely explanation for this happening.
I mean, we’ve worked together three times. The first day we worked together, we had one conversation that went like this:
Me- Hey, did I write out the roster okay?
Me- Oh shit.
Number two: He’s embarrassed, and my calling him out on his bluntness didn’t help.
I do that to people. I make them feel weird about stuff because I myself am a weird person.
Number three: he sent me the message under the false impression I am a normal human being, and after stalking my Facebook page and discovering what a weirdo I am, realised what a horrible mistake that was.
Number four: he’s been without internet. Fair enough.
Number five: It really didn’t mean anything, and he was just curious.
Number six: it wasn’t him, and he was fraped by a friend.
What I’ve decided to do about it.
Because quite frankly, I really don’t want to be that girl who reads too much into stuff that isn’t a big deal. He’s a nice guy, I want to be friends and I don’t want going to work to be a bigger pain in the ass then it already is.
I gave it two days, and now I’m just going to forget about it, move on, and go with the flow.
That’s right. I’m going to try and stop thinking about it, and just chill the fuck out. Because quite frankly, I have so little experience with this kind of thing that there’s no point trying to be cool and sus out the truth. I’m too awkward for that kind of sophistication.
I’m just going to move on and let what happens now, happen.
In the bigger scheme of things, it just doesn’t matter that much.
If number ones the case, best to ignore it and spare us both the humiliation. If number two, that’s the kind of girl I am, and it comes with the territory. Number three, ditto. Number four, he knows where I work. Number five, weird but acceptable. Number six, haha, very funny, not ditto on number one.
So doing nothing and trying to stop making this into a bigger deal then it actually is is the best way forward. I think.
And don’t let this entire blog post contradict my point. I needed to get this out of my system, now I have.