and then I lost my shit

This blog post comes in two parts.

Part one: At work tonight I learnt precisely why I don’t listen to mainstream radio. Not because I am a hipster (I’m too lame to be a hipster). Not because I generally despise the DJs who manage to sound both incredibly contrived and hideously bored, at the same time.
It’s because listening to the same rotation of fucking shitty cash-cow shallow meaningless monotonous incredibly mindnumbingly boring songs, every hour, on repeat, because only playing the “top 20 music hits” gives you a rather limited selection, makes me want to kill myself.

And part two: Work sucks
I quite like my job.
My job is being the bitch in a pub kitchen. Basically all I do is chop stuff up, stick it in boxes and label it. Then I wash a huge pile of dishes. Then I clean some other stuff. Then I go home. The whole thing lasts between four and five hours. I don’t have to talk to anybody, I don’t have to worry about looking tidy and neat. It’s brainless, repetitive, and I happen to be good at it.
In the long run I reckon I’d grow to hate life, but I only have to do it for about four more months, then I can leave for uni.
But recently, even the enjoyment I get out of my job has been strained a bit, because last week my boss spoke to me, and I have to cop a significant pay drop.
Not because I’m not working my ass off. Only because the other girls in the kitchen weren’t getting paid as much as me, and when I started they thought I was going to be waitressing more, not kitchen handing. So they decided to almost halve my hourly rate.
At the time I was busy trying not to cut off one of my fingers whilst wielding a very large knife, and she caught me off guard, so I didn’t object. But now I’m thinking I should have, because a) a 50% pay drop is pretty fucking huge, and b) the other girls in the kitchen are all about fifteen years old. So now I’m getting paid the same rate as kids four years younger then me, which kind of fucking sucks.
So I’m a bit pissed off about that.
And what that also means is that I’ve had to take on a second job, which I didn’t want to do.
I got an offer a while ago for a job in retail. I hate working in retail. I’ve done it before and swore I’d never do it again. I have no head for business. People are annoying and stupid, the work is long and boring and shallow, and the company in question are one of those cash grabbing massively capitalistic men in suits kind of corporations which as a general rule, I am morally opposed to.
But thanks to my fucking shitty ass pay cut, I now have to work for them.
I like kitchen work because it’s hands on, gritty and solid. There’s something very real about it. Wholesome, one might say. It feels honest and worthwhile. I like the physically draining nature of the work and the feeling of satisfaction at the end of it. I like the patterns and the constant flow of tasks to be done.
And, I don’t have to talk to anyone, except for the people I’m working alongside, which is a pleasure.
All the things I enjoy about work are entirely lacking from this job.
There is nothing wholesome about it. Just making money and shifting useless material items from one set of greedy hands to another. It’s boring as hell, and people, as I said, really can be unbelievably fucking stupid. And unfortunately, it’s these people who tend to kick up the loudest fuss.
On top of that, my new job requires me to directly deal with these fucking stupid people, with a cheery smile and an apologetic demeanour.
And I’m not happy about it.
Fourmonthsfourmonths it’s only four months.

But god damn it, it completely sucks.

And I am a little pissed off.

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