why being a woman sucks 1% of the time

Now, 99% of the time I fucking love being female. It’s awesome. Being born a girl is right up there with the best things that have ever happened to me.

But there is one thing, one fucking stupid annoying painful reallyreallyreally shit thing that 1% of the time, makes being a girl fucking suck.

I am talking about my period.

THE P WORD. Be afraid. This is something that’s been talked about before and will be talked about again. The inconvenience, the pain, the sudden inability to control ones emotional state. I hate it.

But there are three particular aspects of being inflicted with ones time of the month that really bother me. That make me want to rip my ovaries out of my fucking body and stomp on them.

Number one, is the pain, because I get the most utterly bitching cramps like you would not believe. I’m talking, doubled over, agonising, nausea inducing pain that can only be controlled by the chugging of painkillers at three hour intervals. (I know it’s supposed to be longer then that, but I can’t wait that long.)

Number two, is the sudden desperate need to eat anything that isn’t nailed down. Even shit I don’t like, I’m so fucking starving I don’t even care. As someone trying to eat more healthily and at regular intervals, this is a pain in the butt. I don;t know why my period makes me hungry, but it does. Fuck off.

And number three, which is the worst of all. I have a bit of an iron deficiency and dodgy blood pressure. One of the major reasons I’m trying to eat better is to control that, but whenever I get my period and start losing a lot more blood then normal, everything goes nuts. What does this mean?
It means dizzy spells, the urge to throw up, losing consciousness at random times, and generally interfering with life.
I hate it.
Today, as you can probably tell, is one of those days. I was at work, and was feeling pretty awesome because due to understaffing, I got to be working in the kitchen with plating up food and learning how to do all that side of things.
I’ve been really wanting to get into all of that kind of hands on, methodical, constructive side of kitchen work, and today I was finally learning how. But my fucking ovaries started hurting, my head started spinning, and thats when the chef took one look at me and said “go sit down!” followed closely by “you should probably go home.”

Nooooooo!!! Damn you damn you damn you my god damned fucking period! Of all the times to strike why now?

So now, instead of taking steps in my workplace, I’m stuck at home, eating the contents of my kitchen and in a world of pain, pissed off and dizzy, and there’s not a thing I can do about it. Fucking fucking shit faced fuck!

I hate my period.

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