The Hate List

As you can probably tell from previous blog posts, I am a very cheerful, happy, loving, caring, modest, and sunny person.

Ha.

Ha.

Hmm.

So today, I’m going to quickly post the top five things that I hate. Just cause they’re on my mind.

Number one. I hate slice. I like cake, cookies, brownies, and all manner of bakes goods but… slice.. I just hate it. I never enjoy it. I think it’s always been this way. Slice is a disappointment, a bitter, dry, unsatisfying disappointment. Slice is like your alcoholic father. You don’t see him for a while, and when you do he makes you cry.
I hate slice.

Number two, Dannii Minogue. Don’t freaking talk to me about Dannii. First of all, spelling your name with two ‘i’s is just screaming “I’m a bubblehead!” and every time I see her on that craptacular television show “Australia’s got talent” it’s like pulling out my teeth one by one with a pair of tweezers. How can someone so infuriating be so famous? Gah.
I hate Dannii Minogue.

(NOTE: hating people is bad. I’m sure she’s… lovely *cringe* in person, but just based off what I see of her on TV, if she got stuck down a hole I would go too out of my way to find a rope.)

Number three, i hate it when someone finds out you have something in common with someone else and gives the helpful advice of “you guys should talk.”
For fucks sake. For example, I’m going to Poland next year. My ex-piano teachers daughter has been to Poland, and when my mother found out she said “oh, i’ll give you her email, you guys should talk.”
ABOUT WHAT!!!???  Seriously, just because we have something in common doesn’t mean we have to discuss it. What would we say to each other? Asking questions about Poland like “I hear it’s cold, what should I pack?” are the kinds of things that a) are pretty stupid questions anyway, and b) are the kinds of things I can find out on my own.
Talking about it to someone else isn’t a conversation, it’s a google search. It’s the same thing when people find you have a talent like singing, and they say “sing something!”
What, right here? Right now? I’m not a fucking jukebox! And even if you are willing to do it, there’s always the question of, what do you want me to sing?
“Oh just anything.” Not helpful! There are millions of fucking songs out there, ‘just anything’ doesn’t narrow it down for me!
Damn considerate bastards.
The irritating thing is that these people who suggest “you guys should talk” or invite you to open your voice up to the heavens are just trying to be nice, they’re interested in what you can do, or are trying to help you. It’s infuriating that you can’t be mad at them for it, like you can be at Dannii Minouge for having the personality of a retarded goldfish, or at slice for being shit.

Number four, I hate baths.
Baths are shit, because for about thirty seconds they’re really nice, and for the rest of the time, they’re shit. And no matter how shit it gets, you manage to convince yourself it’s worth it because you’ve used all this water, you may as well stick it out for as long as you can. Baths are boring, they get colder and colder and more unpleasant, and when you’re done you don’t feel clean anyway.
Unfortunately, the only memories one holds on to from their bath are the soothing sounds of the running water and those thirty seconds of bliss.  So you keep returning, only to be short changed again and again.
I hate Baths.

Number five, and this is the one I hate the most of all, more then consideration, more that baths or slice, fuck, more than Dannii fucking-two-i’s Minouge.

I hate hate hate hate HOMOPHOBIA. If you are a homophobe, go die in a fucking hole.

My name is Georgie and this is the hate list. Back to you Steve.

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